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	<title>Comments on: help me fix poem??</title>
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	<description>Cuckoo clocks to fit every personality!</description>
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	<item>
		<title>By: lookgreatloseweightsavemoney.com</title>
		<link>http://cuckooclocksforsale.org/help-me-fix-poem/comment-page-1#comment-4893</link>
		<dc:creator>lookgreatloseweightsavemoney.com</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 31 Jul 2010 08:35:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://cuckooclocksforsale.org/help-me-fix-poem#comment-4893</guid>
		<description>Nice~

OK, a few ideas...

Here I am, x98

Lo I am, x98

Curious, I am x98

Fiesty I am, x98

Timely I am, x98

Hesitant I am, x98

Ultimate I am, x98

Intimate I am, x98



And I got a whole bunch more, but those are some starters to help you get out of your &#039;mental block&#039;....

Hope they help:o)

You can submit poetry here:
http://www.lookgreat-loseweight-savemoney.com</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Nice~</p>
<p>OK, a few ideas&#8230;</p>
<p>Here I am, x98</p>
<p>Lo I am, x98</p>
<p>Curious, I am x98</p>
<p>Fiesty I am, x98</p>
<p>Timely I am, x98</p>
<p>Hesitant I am, x98</p>
<p>Ultimate I am, x98</p>
<p>Intimate I am, x98</p>
<p>And I got a whole bunch more, but those are some starters to help you get out of your &#8216;mental block&#8217;&#8230;.</p>
<p>Hope they help:o)</p>
<p>You can submit poetry here:<br />
<a href="http://www.lookgreat-loseweight-savemoney.com" rel="nofollow">http://www.lookgreat-loseweight-savemoney.com</a></p>
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	<item>
		<title>By: MsNobody</title>
		<link>http://cuckooclocksforsale.org/help-me-fix-poem/comment-page-1#comment-4894</link>
		<dc:creator>MsNobody</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 31 Jul 2010 08:35:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://cuckooclocksforsale.org/help-me-fix-poem#comment-4894</guid>
		<description>First of all, what are you wanting to fix? Where do you think it needs work? It&#039;s your poem, and only you know what you want to say.

Having said that - I think some of your imagery is very evocative, like &quot;I&#039;m like a cuckoo clock that strikes at random hours&quot;, but in other places you are using images that are a little stale and trite (like the colors white and green to represent purity and jealousy or greed).

I don&#039;t know if you need to use the phrase &quot;at periods&quot; so often to make your point. For example:

I am ______
the period of twilight
At periods I&#039;m weird
At periods I&#039;m a passionate lover
Or pure as the color white
Greedy as the color green
At periods I&#039;m like clay
a sticky ductile material... 

You see what I mean - keeping the flow with the word &quot;period&quot; but not overusing it.

Just a few suggestions - if they work, great. If not, hey, it&#039;s your poem, your work of creation, and ultimately you are the only judge of whether it says what you want it to or not.

Overall, good job!</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>First of all, what are you wanting to fix? Where do you think it needs work? It&#8217;s your poem, and only you know what you want to say.</p>
<p>Having said that &#8211; I think some of your imagery is very evocative, like &quot;I&#8217;m like a cuckoo clock that strikes at random hours&quot;, but in other places you are using images that are a little stale and trite (like the colors white and green to represent purity and jealousy or greed).</p>
<p>I don&#8217;t know if you need to use the phrase &quot;at periods&quot; so often to make your point. For example:</p>
<p>I am ______<br />
the period of twilight<br />
At periods I&#8217;m weird<br />
At periods I&#8217;m a passionate lover<br />
Or pure as the color white<br />
Greedy as the color green<br />
At periods I&#8217;m like clay<br />
a sticky ductile material&#8230; </p>
<p>You see what I mean &#8211; keeping the flow with the word &quot;period&quot; but not overusing it.</p>
<p>Just a few suggestions &#8211; if they work, great. If not, hey, it&#8217;s your poem, your work of creation, and ultimately you are the only judge of whether it says what you want it to or not.</p>
<p>Overall, good job!</p>
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	<item>
		<title>By: Abby W</title>
		<link>http://cuckooclocksforsale.org/help-me-fix-poem/comment-page-1#comment-4895</link>
		<dc:creator>Abby W</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 31 Jul 2010 08:35:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://cuckooclocksforsale.org/help-me-fix-poem#comment-4895</guid>
		<description>im not being critical i wright poems/songs as well i believe if you used times instead of periods it would catch people on to it more sorry i cant help more you should try to do it yourself otherwise it may not come out the way you want it have funn</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>im not being critical i wright poems/songs as well i believe if you used times instead of periods it would catch people on to it more sorry i cant help more you should try to do it yourself otherwise it may not come out the way you want it have funn</p>
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